Buffer Me

I had a very funny conversation with a friend of mine recently about why I don’t watch internet porn, which I attribute to a combination of an uncomfortable desk chair and streaming video time-out. I don’t actually have any experience with online porn but I do watch all kinds of videos online and they often stop and have to adjust playback or buffer or load…..

And my friend suggested that I eroticize buffering. Yeah baby. Buffer that video. Give me that seamless playback. Stream it smoother, faster…. you get the idea.

It reminded me of a conversation I had with another friend, who is a social worker. She had heard someone refer to an erotic activity as CBT, and was concerned about the impact of unlicensed cognitive behavioral therapy. Which of course lead me to launch into a whole “I’ll teach you to recognate” monologue.

The irony is, while I can make nearly any activity sound dirty in completely inappropriate settings (“Wanna recanvass my not-homes?”), I’m actually not very good at dirty talk in appropriate settings. Go figure.

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