Lots of folks have inquired about why I’m looking for a summer boyfriend when I’m a big ol’ dyke and men freak me out. I didn’t really have an answer at first, it was just a gut feeling. Then, after I thought about it a little more, I thought it was my own misogyny – that I’m looking for an easy-going, fun relationship with someone who is focused on meeting my needs, not a relationship where we have to check in about how we’re doing, or process our feelings, and where I have to be focused on them.
And then I realized – it’s really because I already have a girlfriend relationship. It’s all about her needs, and our entire relationship is built on her schedule. I spend a tremendous amount of time trying to figure out what she needs, and how to provide it for her, but our communication is always a challenge. She doesn’t ask me what’s been happening with me, I always have to go to her place, and for half the year she’s completely unavailable to me. Don’t get me wrong, I get a lot out of the relationship – eggplant, peppers, tomatoes, even a watermelon – but Number 19 is the only summer girlfriend I can handle.